Do you ever have a moment of parenting during which it almost feels like an out of body experience where you are watching a scene from The Three Stooges, only it’s just you and the kiddo? Oooooh friends. Let me tell you…
Mistakes were made.
Tonight was bath night for Little Bear. I have a bit of a stuffy nose and didn’t smell or see that there was poop in his diaper until I sat him in the tub. Then of course, I noticed the poop as half of it ground into the floor of the tub and the other half began floating about. Oh boy.
I scooped him up, wiped him off, set him on the floor, and began draining the tub. I turned around just in time to see my naked little baby making a beeline for a large piece of poop that must have dropped out of his diaper as I took it off and threw it away.
Once again I scooped him up, then proceeded to wipe up the poop and scrub that part of the floor down while holding him tucked under one arm. Once the floor was clean, I sat him back down and began cleaning the tub. As I scrubbed the tub and washed the toys that were in it, Little Bear crawled out of the bathroom and began playing with the bathroom door.
He got it closed and lost his mind because he couldn’t get the door open again without smooshing his head between the door and the door frame to his room. I was stuck in the bathroom because I couldn’t push the door open and I couldn’t get to him. I did manage to work my hand out to get his head unsmooshed, roll him out of the way, and get the door open.
I finally got him back in a freshly scrubbed tub with fresh water. As I was standing up after placing him in the tub, I slipped on some water that dripped on the floor and slammed my knee into the tub. Many “shitake mushrooms!” and “Nutsy the squirrel!”s were uttered and Little Bear laughed heartily.
For the rest of the bath I sat completely still (lest catastrophe strike again) on the stool next to the tub while he played in the water. Gosh, I love this little booger, but boy what a ride. I figured I ought to go ahead and write this out because: 1. I don’t want to forget it and 2. it seems downright selfish to keep comic material like this to myself.
As I said, mistakes were made.
Best “Three Stooges” parenting scene from your lifetime. Go!